Blind Dating is Not an Effective Job Search Strategy, Part Two

If you have not read last week’s blog, please do. The question we need to start with is how would you feel about blind dating with different people suggesting whom you should date.

Now that you put yourself into those shoes, let’s turn the tables. Let’s put on the hiring manager’s shoes. The hiring manager is now the one who is looking for a date (employee to fill a job) and potentially a long term employment relationship. You are the potential blind date.

If the hiring manager did not know you or ever talk to you and a stranger to the hiring manager suggested to her that she should commit her time to meet you, would you expect she would be interested in meeting?

This is what an unsolicited resume is to a hiring manager. They don’t know you and whether what you say is true or filled with a hidden motive. Most hiring managers don’t have the time or trust to pursue unknown people.

If your resume was referred to the hiring manager by someone she knew, would you expect she would immediately want to meet with you? Not necessarily. Certainly, in the context of you being one of five candidates coming in to be interviewed by a number of people, then the hiring manager may interview you or not. Many hiring managers want subordinates to do the first interview pass. Why? To get opinions of people whom they trust to screen unknown candidates first.

If you were referred by a trusted friend or advisor, would the hiring manager be willing to meet personally with you, bypassing the gatekeepers? In most cases, you will get the opportunity of at least meeting with them for 15-30 minutes. If they like you and become interested in you, then they would usually check you out with other advisors or, if you are at a lower level, have HR take a look at you.  During this process the company might be willing to consider including you in the interview process to see if the relationship should move toward a job offer.

Sound ridiculous? To a job seeker, perhaps. To a hiring manager, this is no different than being asked on a blind date.

The question then becomes, how are you seeking to get in front of the hiring manager?

Next week, we will be announcing our new book which walks you through the entire process and gives you a roadmap you can begin following immediately.

Blind Dating is Not an Effective Job Search Strategy

Have you ever been on a blind date? No? I haven’t either. Let’s go through what might be a typical blind date scenario. It is important to see the picture from this viewpoint. Next week we will explain why blind dating is not an effective job search strategy.

Let’s say that a stranger told you that there was a person whom you should meet and go out on a date. What would your response be?

Let’s say that someone you knew told you that there was a person whom you should meet and go out on a date. What would your response be?

Let’s say that your best friend told you that there was a person whom you should meet and go out on a date. What would your response be?

My hope is that you would ignore the stranger; period.

If someone you knew suggested a date, most of us might ask a question or two. If the answer sounded like a “WOW!”, then we might at least consider meeting the person on a casual basis first to get our own opinion. That casual introduction could start out as simple as using Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or even email. If interest increased, perhaps a causal meeting for coffee in a highly public area might be warranted. At a minimum, most of us would still be very nervous. You never know whom you might really be meeting. Movies have been made of such things.

If your best friend told you, you would probably ask a number of questions and measure both the content of the reply and how well your best friend knew the person. You would be wise to still follow the caution of very slow steps before committing to a date.

What is the difference? Trust. You cannot trust a stranger’s opinion or motive. You may not be able to trust the opinion of someone else whom you know. You would more likely trust your best friend and at least be willing to meet the person, without initially committing to a date or a relationship.

Before we explain how this relates to jobs, please consider if you agree with my opinion. Next week’s blog will explain how this ties into getting a job.

Secrets of Networking, Part 9

The ninth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

9. Enthusiasm – enthusiasm is said to be self-confidence in action. It comes before success. Positive enthusiastic energy is one of the most sought after traits.

Actually, I disagree. Passion is the source of enthusiasm, energy, and perseverance. It is a secret ingredient to success.

Enthusiasm without passion is generally self manufactured and will die with challenging circumstances. Enthusiasm without substance is not a pretty sight. It can be over-reaching, arrogant, and obnoxious. It can also be based upon false reality and delusion; which can be destructive.

Here is a suggested formula: Belief System + Values + Passion + Mission = an irresistible force that will accomplish something. What it accomplishes depends upon what the belief system and values are based upon.

In searching for results in life, I strongly recommend that you look beneath the surface to be sure that the foundation is solid. True lifetime success is built upon a solid foundation.

Do I like enthusiasm? Of course! It is contagious! I am even more excited when it is based upon substance and principles that agree with my conclusions of a strong foundation.

Secrets of Networking, Part 8

The eighth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

8. Feedback – the people in your life want to know what you think. If you can deliver negative feedback with respect and kindness, it will be welcomed. If you can deliver positive feedback, it will be cherished.

This is not a point that I would emphasize. My observation is that people generally want to know what you think if it is good. If it is constructive criticism, no thank you. If it is negative, “how dare he…” What is your observation?

In fact, I see insiders who constantly see areas of improvement for others but rarely mention them.

The wise man, who wants to get wiser, does seek negative feedback. He can weigh its value and decide to accept it or to reject it but if delivered with respect it is always welcome – if timed and worded properly.

Most of us appreciate positive feedback as long as it is not merely polite stroking. If it is sincere and appreciative, we may feel a little unease but it is welcome.

Some of us, including myself, give feedback as a way of sincerely wanting to help others. It is not always appreciated. We sometimes get burnt by the receiving party but helping someone see their blind side is, in my opinion, the most sincere way of trying to help others.

However, if you are crude or malicious in your remarks, please do it elsewhere.

Secrets of Networking, Part 7

The seventh point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

7. Sincerity – you can make a decision to be caring, responsive, and open, and then make the effort to project and follow up on these things.

Do you think most people, according to this definition, are sincere today? Are you?

There are several good points to make. First, you can intellectually agree and decide with your mind that you want to be caring, responsive, and open.  But until those attitudes are in your heart (emotional center of values), then you will merely be hypocritical. You can pretend to project these traits and even follow up on them but unless they are part of your true self, it will only be an act.

So, how do you move a trait from agreeing that you need to change to agreeing that you want to change to actually making the change?

There are actually several methods with differing degrees of success. But the first step is to think about the statement and ask yourself if you even care about this trait. If not, you would be wasting your time to pretend about it.

If you truly value this trait, how badly do you want it? How would it impact your life? Are you willing to pay the price? If not, why bother?

If you want something bad enough, you will make the effort and eventual change.

In my opinion, most people in the United States want to be sincere. We just have and see a lot of bad apples. So, the next question is, “how are others seeing your sincerity?”

We see a lot of frauds, silver bullet speakers and easy solutions that are anything but sincere. A person who is sincerely looking out for our interests would be a breath of fresh air! What is your reputation?

Secrets of Networking, Part 2

The second point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

2. Punctuality – being on time is a promise that we get to keep regularly. It is expected of most of us. When you are late the person may feel resentful about being stood up and that they are not important to you. Even if you show up 2 minutes later, going through that thought process at all is not good for a relationship.

First, I disagree that punctuality should be ranked this high. This list is being shared to help you but is not nearly complete or prioritized the way I would prioritize it. However, it is a valid point.

Just yesterday, when I am actually writing this blog, I had an appointment with someone referred to me. We were supposed to meet at 10 am at a location of his choosing. The morning of the meeting, he sent me a text message saying he would be there at 9:45. So, I left early and allowed time for heavy traffic. Fortunately, traffic was light. I arrived at 9:20, purchased some coffee, and worked while waiting.

9:45 came and went. 10:00 came and went. Shortly after 10, the other party called saying he was running a couple of minutes late. He quickly apologized (his prior meeting lasted longer than anticipated) and we had a good meeting.

Should he have made allowances? Sure, just as I did my leaving earlier. Was I a little miffed? Yes. If I thought it was important enough to be early, shouldn’t he have planned his day better? Shouldn’t he have planned for “traffic” time. Would that have taken some time away from him if “traffic” did not exist? Absolutely! But then he could have also brought along some work to do.

Am I ever going to forgive him? Let me put it this way. There have been meetings where I either totally forgot about them or put them down incorrectly on my calendar. Sometimes I am left waiting while no one shows up and sometimes they show up and call me saying, “Where are you?’ This rarely happens, but it does happen. Life goes on.

But the principle is sound.  Punctuality is honoring the other party and showing that you can be trusted to respect the other party’s time. If your reputation is that, “you are never on time” then the message is that you are all about you. So, why should I hire you? Why should I want to buy from you? Why should I even want to reset an appointment with you?

Learn the rules. Be punctual as a lifestyle. Apologize when the rare occasion happens that you are late – it will happen. Be sure your brand is someone who tries to intentionally arrive early. My person rule is 15 minutes early. What is your rule?

Secrets of Networking, Part 1

The first set of points is from a blog by Charlie Robertson, www.charliethecoach.co.uk, who is with BNI. Charlie is apparently quoting from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson. The gist of the blog is 10 ways that you can increase the Word of Mouth techniques to help others talk about you in a positive way. Another way of putting this would be to review the  non-verbal actions that impact your brand.

While this list is by no means complete, I think it is worth reviewing.

What does “Word of Mouth” have to do with networking? It has everything to do with your brand and the brand extension of what others see in you and think of you. So, here are a series of blogs on the list Charlie cites from the book, “Deserve What You Get.”

1. Keeping Promises – the number one reason relationships fail, at work, or at home, is that one side perceives a promise that isn’t kept. If you want the relationship to succeed, you have to find out what the expectations are and meet them or change the expectations. You must prioritize your promises and you must make your priorities known.

This goes back to the concept of trust. “Can I trust you to keep your promise?” Clearly the idea of meeting or exceeding expectations is worth a book by itself. Eventually, you will get caught if you lie, deceive, or misrepresent. The onus is on you to go the next step to see if the expectations that you promised are kept.

The first challenge is that the expectations that you thought you made may not match what the other party thought you communicated. The author is correct in saying that this intentional or unintentional gap is a major reason for not succeeding.

The author is also correct in suggesting that you must manage your commitments and correcting others who want to “assign” you with commitments that you did not make. This happens in consulting when the hiring company expands job scope, without wanting to pay for it, and expecting you to comply (at your cost). This happens when a boss gives you an impossible assignment, with the time and resources that you have available. This happens when a family is pulling you one way with their set of expectations (spelled “demands”) and work is pulling you the other way.

The key is to decide who you are, what your values are, and to prioritize what you can and cannot do. There are certain promises that are seen as so fundamental, usually tied to character, that failure can be catastrophic. Of the rest, it is best to either not make a promise or to be sure that you condition it with reality.

Why? You don’t want to develop the reputation (brand) of not being trustworthy.

Secrets of On-Line Branding, Part Six

Continuing with Merideth Levensen’s article, point number six is:

6. Over-promoting yourself: Keep it cool. There’s no need to go nuts with all this stuff.

How much time do you have? Who is really looking at what you are doing? Is each site really worth the time and effort?

Again, in today’s fast pace environment, we all want to help ourselves as much as possible but usually end up with memberships in too many sites, with too many passwords, and too much of a risk in confusing our brand.

We need to focus on what is most important and do that well.

This is why I disabled my social sites called Whacked Executive Network and Whacked Community Network. As my business expands, what I need to do changes. I just don’t have the time to continue with sites or things that are not current and relatively easy to do.

It is fine to experiment, to learn, and to continue improving your message but keep in mind that if you spread yourself too thin you may lose focus, lose a consistent message, and lose getting what you really want. If you are caught on personal sites while at work, you may lose your job.

Take a look at what you are doing on the internet. Do you need to go on a social networking diet?

Secrets of On-Line Branding, Part 5

Continuing with Merideth Levensen’s article, point number five is:

5. Not committing to social media: Whatever you set up, you must maintain.

I also agree.

Many of us are asked to join gazillions of social and business sites. I recommend that you refuse to do so. You will not have the time to maintain them. You will waste incredible amounts of time on them – with little to no personal benefit. You will often send out conflicting messages versus what you may have on other sites. And…you might even reveal something that could be embarrassing or damaging to your future or your career.

We probably all make this mistake. I recommend you take a look at where you are and re-examine whether you should be there. I recommend that you review what you are posting in light of yesterday’s blog.

5. Not committing to social media: Whatever you set up, you must maintain.

I also agree.

Many of us are asked to join gazillions of social and business sites. I recommend that you refuse to do so. You will not have the time to maintain them. You will waste incredible amounts of time on them – with little to no personal benefit. You will often send out conflicting messages versus what you may have on other sites. And…you might even reveal something that could be embarrassing or damaging to your future or your career.

We probably all make this mistake. I recommend you take a look at where you are and re-examine whether you should be there. I recommend that you review what you are posting in light of yesterday’s blog.

Secrets of On-Line Branding, Part 4

Continuing with Merideth Levensen’s article, point number four is:

4. Behaving inconsistently: Everything from your voice mail message to your blog to your tweets must have a consistent tone. You can’t be wild and crazy in one place and dead serious in another.

I agree.  Inconsistent behavior is not predictable. People hire and buy from those whom they can trust, know, and predict future behavior. If there are questions raised; well, there are plenty of others who are willing to be consistent. I can move on to the next person. Is that what you want?

Some may argue that what “I do in my personal life has nothing to do in my professional life.” Wrong. It has everything to do with character. If a question is raised in one area, the likelihood of it being a risk in another area is high – too high to risk.

In branding, authenticity and predictability are required. You don’t have to follow these rules. You just will frequently not be asked to join the team or be invited to rise to the top.

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