Are You a Legend or a Legacy?

There are several kinds of legends. You can be a legend want-a-be, a legend in your own mind, a legend with mythical notoriety, or a true legend whom others look up to with awe and respect. For some true legends, they just seem to fall into the situation, not unlike some medal of honor winners who were “just doing their duty.” For most true legends, and medal of honor winners, there is a cost to pay. The price can range from their health, their family, friends, and endless hours of hard work.

It is hard to be a legend. Few make the grade. I doubt that I will be considered a legend. To me, the cost would have been too high. For others, I simply take my hat off to them.

However, there is something that all of us can do even if we are never recognized by others, appear on the national news, or receive global honors. We can choose to leave a legacy.

What is a legacy? Wikipedia defines a legacy as “what someone or something is remembered for or what they have left behind that is remembered, revered or has impacted current events and the present day.”

While a legacy could include a significant monetary or property inheritance, I am most interested in whether our personal lives are impacting others around us in such a way that they are “touched by us”, motivated by us, encouraged by us, and helped by us in such a way that they remember it for the rest of their lives – and sometimes even tell their children about it. That could even include one simple but profound positive lesson that a parent leaves with their child.

While you are looking for a job or are developing your career, are you also leaving a positive legacy for your family, friends, and even strangers that you meet?

Are you focused on becoming a legend or on leaving a legacy?

Do You Seek Pills or Performance?

Why do I talk about pills?  Have you ever noticed that if you wanted to lose weight, improve your health, feel better emotionally, gain muscle – with almost any problem people are willing to help you by magic pills, magic processes, or short cuts? I even heard a person who meditates one hour a day, for personal peace and harmony, sell a series of tapes on how for only a few minutes a day you can have the same result that takes you an hour today. How many times a day do you get a get rich quick scheme that only requires a few minutes and “you too can join the rich and famous”?

Just think about it. No more having to exercise, no more having to eat a balanced low calorie diet, no more losing your hair, no more health issues, no more worries about your credit card debt, no more hard work or long hours studying, no more pressure – just take this pill, buy this tape, or follow these 10 simple steps… When your friend falls for one of these lines you may laugh at them, but how many times have you been fooled by wanting to take short cuts to results?

The other option is performance or results. If you want lifelong weight loss, what changes are you making in your lifestyle to get that result. If you want better health, mental or physical, what are you doing about your diet, work habits, stress levels, exercise, and other lifestyle decisions that may impact your health?

I believe it was B. T. Barney who said that “THERE IS A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE.” Well, aren’t we all suckers at some point and time?

Perhaps the biggest sucker is ourselves when we seek to pop a pill to solve a problem that is really only solved by lifestyle changes.

If you want lifetime performance, you have to do what it takes to get the results – the right way.

Are you still looking for pills to pop or to learn how to deliver performance and get the results you want?

Are You a Victim or a Victor?

There many victims in this world. In fact, anyone can claim to be a victim. The poor may not have enough food, clothing, education, healthcare, nurturing, safety, role models, etc. The rich may have been spoiled, not enough time with loving parents, too much freedom, too much money, too many temptations, too much unstructured free time, too much access to drugs, sex, and mischief. Perhaps you are in the middle but had a negative teacher experience, a professor who could not teach, a boss who was unethical, etc. It is easy to blame others or our circumstances. It emotionally feels good to blame the system, blame our situation, and ignore our own responsibility. You might get compassion from a court of law or others but feeling like a victim does not solve anything. You will just remain a victim.

We have far fewer victors. A victor does not ignore the injustices in life. Instead, they feed off of wanting their lives to be different. They take any negative energy and turn it into positive motivation to become different. They want to provide food, clothing, opportunities, a better world and a better life for themselves and for their children and grand children. They choose to win at the game of life. They get up each morning determined to break through their past, their excuses, and their weaknesses to make a difference, to maximize their potential, and to ultimately leave a legacy.

Being a victim is easy. You don’t have to do anything.

Being a victor is hard. You have to be determined, work hard, persevere, and surround yourself with other like-minded victors to become successful. Many future victors are often surprised how many older victors are willing to reach out a hand to help those who are determined to win in life. These older victors have won already and are now working on paying it forward in order to leave a legacy for future generations of victors.

At the end of the day, the difference is what you decide to do with your life.

Will you be a victim or a victor?

How do you avoid feeling like an outcast?

I once heard a person state that when they tell someone that they are “in transition”, they feel like a leper with people thinking, “Unclean! Unclean! … What is Wrong with HIM?”

In the best of times, whatever the reason was that you were whacked, being unemployed is a dark and painful time. Your self-esteem is hit with two-by-four pieces of wood. As time goes on with few results, deep down you cannot help but to wonder if the problem is “me” or “Perhaps I really am a leper.”

In the worst of times, you are not alone. More people understand and sympathize – perhaps because they fear that they may soon be joining you at the unemployment office. But this does not change how you feel. For many, these may be the darkest days that they have ever experienced.

In reality, you may be struggling to change the fact that you are unemployed but you can begin by changing your perception and attitude.

How are you viewing your situation? What is your attitude about your future?

How do you maintain momentum in the job search?

When I speak or network, it is not unusual to see the pain on people’s faces who are struggling to find a job. It is for those people that I started Job Doctors International, LLC.

Last week I responded to a reporter about how those unemployed for over a year can maintain momentum, reduce mental and emotional pain, and even stave off depression. This week I will share some ideas.

Here are my initial thoughts that I shared with the reporter.

1.     Identify for yourself and your family articles that describe how difficult the economy and job market are today. The problem is that “everybody” is being challenged. The issue may not be you. Ask your family to team with you through this tough time. Otherwise, the family may break up which would create even more challenges.

2.     Examine what you are doing. If you are just sending out resumes in response to job boards, job fairs, unsolicited recruiters and HR, then you might be better off to play the lottery.

3.     Find a professional who can help you focus on how to bypass the gatekeepers by learning to sell and market yourself into decision makers. We call our process Jobpreneurship™.  Understanding how the more advanced job search strategies work can give you a tremendous excitement and mental boost.

4.     Consider finding another career, a contract job, or a lower paying job just to get cash flow coming into your bank account. You can then focus on developing your plan to get where you really want to go and develop the skills to get there.

5.     Set time aside daily for exercise, healthy and moderately eating, time in meditation and prayer, and family activities.

6.     Ask for help from friends, family, church, community, and transition groups (who are in the same boat). Get a few like-minded job seekers to meet with every week to encourage one another and to hold each other accountable.

7. If needed, consider mental health professionals. Many counselors can help without medications and at a lower cost. If serious depression is a concern, seek help from a doctor.

The Phases Of Denial In A Job Search

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote in her book, On Death and Dying, her observations of the phases individuals go through when confronted with the news that they are dying. Sometimes, when we are first let go or no activity is occurring in the job search or we are recently turned down for that exciting opportunity that we were so excited about, we may feel the same way.

The phases are:

1.     Denial – “This can’t be happening.”

2.     Anger – “Why is this happening to me? It’s not fair!”

3.     Bargaining – “I’ll go to church every Sunday if…”

4.     Depression – “I don’t care anymore. I’m going to die anyway, what’s the point in trying.”

5.     Acceptance – “I can’t fight it, it will be okay; I’m ready.”

One of my financial advisors, Doug Casey, recently wrote in a daily dispatch (www.caseyresearch.com) that the average investor will go through the following five phases as our current economic crisis unfolds:

1.     Denial – “This can’t be happening.”

2.     Denial – “This can’t be happening.”

3.     Denial – “This can’t be happening.”

4.     Denial – “This can’t be happening.”

5.     Denial – “This can’t be happening.”

Whichever response you may be having, we appear to be in a unique time when traditional methods are no longer working.

I heard that Albert Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results.”

Are you finding yourself fitting one of these descriptions? What are you doing about it?

Breaking the chains of Finances

Just as with families, libraries of books are written on this subject. I want to focus on balancing our financial life.

Some of us are misers – Scrooge types. Studies have suggested that most fortunes are spent by the second generation after us. We cannot take it with us when we die and the third generation usually does not get it either. Futility!

Some of us are wasteful – spending ourselves into poverty. Foolish!

Most of us do our best but between taxes, salary compression, and “life” there never seems to be enough to go around. When sickness or job loss occurs, our nest egg is threatened or disappears.

I would like to make a few simple suggestions:

1. Decide what is most important to you and your family. I encourage husbands and wives to try to agree. Set goals.

2. Budget amounts to meet annual goals.

3. Things will happen. Don’t tie your happiness to money. If you miss your goals, were you at least trying to do the most important things for the family?

4. Invest in yourself. Training and competitiveness has a much higher return on investment than the stock market, bonds, or real estate. Those markets can collapse but having marketable skills and competitive skills provides a stronger platform for long term success and recurring income. Jobpreneurship is one example for lifelong success.

5. In today’s markets, find an advisor whose belief system matches your own. Get help as needed.

6. If you can, give away to charitable causes as much as possible. It helps free you from an obsession with wealth, sets an example for your children, and helps others. For myself, I see giving to my church and Christian ministries as an eternal investment that also helps keep my priorities focused.

7. Don’t assume you will always have plenty. Jobs will be lost. Issues will occur. Live within your means and set aside monies that you will probably need later. If you find out you don’t need it, be sure to have a will to pass it on to the next generation – they probably will need it; especially to help them invest in their marketability.

What suggestions do you have?

Breaking the chains of Family

Similar to rest, our families can hurt or help us.

If we ignore our families, problems at home will distract us while at work. If we pay too much attention to our families, we may not give our work it’s required attention. This is a common struggle with every family man or woman.

In my opinion, no one has ever a perfect balance at both work and home. Not even Bill Cosby or Ozzie and Harriet were perfect. So, the first suggestion is to acknowledge that you will feel guilty about work, home, or both. Everybody wants 100% of us – but there is just one of us.

When we are on our death bed, it will be our family that will be our concern – not whether we could have spent more time at the office.

Here is my suggestion.

• A strong family allows one to be happier, more energized, and more productive at work. A weak family creates distractions, emotional upheaval, and temptations at work. Focus on the family. It pays in the long run with better career success and life satisfaction.

• Recognize that you still have to work a certain number of hours per week. Determine to use the remainder hours to focus on helping around the house, spending time with your spouse and children, attend family activities, develop family friends. One example would be parents of your children’s friends.

• Identify those activities that steal your time away from work and family. Put aside for now those activities that take away from family and work. You can always pick them up again once the children begin leaving the nest. Invest in the best balance possible, knowing that some days will be imbalanced.

• Work with the family as a team to help everyone create time. Assign chores and develop the attitude of helping each other so that more time as a family unit can be created.

• When situations require more time at work, bring the family into the process but be sure to strive for balance after the work situation has passed. Job transition time is a great example when you are at home more but need to work even harder to get your next job.

How do you handle breaking the chains of too much or too little family time?

Breaking the Chain of Appearance

You might think that the way you look is the way you look. Wrong. If you have not watched the show, I recommend you watch “What Not to Wear.” The hosts are clothing experts. You heard the old saying, “Clothing makes the man?” I disagree but it can make a man or woman look much better.

Here are a few secrets:

1. Hiring managers like no red flags. If you are too heavy or look like you are improperly dressed, your poor first impression will likely give the competitive advantage to the other person even if you are better qualified.
2. There are interesting statistics on height. An image consultant recently stated that every inch of a man’s height equates to $7,000 per year higher earnings. Since some of us are not giants, we may feel disadvantaged. However, with striped shirts, tailored clothing, and the right fit for our body type, we can “appear” taller.
3. The proper appearance does have an impact on hiring, promotions, and clients liking to work with you. Ok, so they are bigots. Yes, you have the right to look like a slob. But the impact is so large that investing in the right diet, exercise, clothing, and make-up is investing in your future success, self-confidence, and health.  So, women, now you have an excuse when you buy more…

First impressions and daily impressions are important to success and to your brand. This is just as important as the resume or the interview; if you want to truly be competitive.

How do you break the chains of appearance?

Breaking the Chains of Exercise

Most of us want to exercise. We watch football on TV while sitting on the couch and say, “I can do that!”  We watch gymnastics on the Olympics and say, “I would love to be able to do that!” Then we get up to get more food.

Now, some of you reading this are in great shape. As long as you don’t spend too much time exercising, congratulations. I have one son who maxes out the Marine fitness test. He used to do hand stand pushups as a teenager. The other son runs marathons. My wife tries to exercise every night. Then there is me.

We did buy some very expensive equipment for our home gym. You should be proud of us. Yet most people use their equipment for a clothing hanger or use their fitness club membership for a few weeks and then stop.

I recently read a friend’s book entitled, “The Secret of Success – A Little Bit Over A Long Period of Time.” The author, Phillip Crone, is a sales executive and runner.  One point he makes is that if you target only 10 minutes a day for 5 days a week for 30 days then you will begin to develop the habit of exercise. Next month you can add another minute and work your way to 30 minutes…

The key to this is that most of us use the excuse that we don’t have time. But 10 minutes? I can do that. So can you.

Today, I exercised for 20 minutes and burnt 200 calories. Of course I also walked the dog for 15 minutes; twice.  I could have exercised longer, for 60 minutes, but I have a hurt foot. If you don’t believe me, I can limp even more! Yet even 20 minutes makes me feel better, less guilty, and over the years help keep my weight down, tone up, and self confidence high.

So how are you breaking the chains of exercise? Do you have 10 minutes?

Next Page »