Secrets of Networking, Part 6

The sixth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

6.  Gratitude – all of us feel gratitude at one point or another. Some people market themselves by expressing this gratitude with a smile, with a few words, or with a handwritten thank you note.

This is a hidden secret. It sounds trite. That is why it is a hidden secret.

None of us can do everything by ourselves. Most of us can actually do very little without the help of others. Networking is all about others helping us and introducing us to others who can help us (as well as the reverse). We should be thankful – and express our thankfulness.

Thankfulness expressed is saying that the other person is appreciated. How many spouses go everyday without receiving any expressed appreciation? What does it cost me to say “thank you”? How can that impact our spouse, besides their falling on the floor in amazement?

I personally thank and appreciate my God for all He has done and will do. I thank and appreciate my wife for being the wonderful person she is and all that she does for me. I thank and appreciate everyone who helps me.

My response, learning from how much I appreciate others, is to help them. Everyone wins when you make a habit of expressing gratitude.

Secrets of Networking, Part 5

The fifth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

5.  Respect – you say a lot about yourself in the way you treat other people and in the professionalism in your appearance.

I agree, with a caveat. If you practice appropriate manners, customs, and expectations then you are showing respect. If you are about helping others and not self-absorbed, then you are showing more than respect. You are showing trustworthiness, compassion, and understanding.

By appropriate, some examples are:

• You understand rules of networking, relationships, the office, and home
• You practice what is right in the environment where you are. These are different depending upon country, industry, cultural societies, and even within a department within a division within a company.
• You understand what is not right in any circumstance.

You understand that respect does not mean you sacrifice your values to show respect. It does suggest that if your values may be compromised, perhaps you should not be going there or perhaps you should move on.

If you want to help others, then you will generally be aware of how to show respect. Most of those who fall into the trap of disrespect are those whose opinion about themselves and their self interests are so high that they demand others respect them and their rights even as they disrespect and trample upon the rights of others.

Secrets of Networking, Part 4

The fourth point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

4. Demeanor – your demeanor, your ability to smile, to get along with people, to get excited and to show emotion are very important.

Again, I would not put this #4. However, it does have an impact on the first impression (10 seconds time) and your ongoing brand. It also impacts your “likeability” quotient.

When Lindsey Vonn won her downhill skiing Olympic gold medal, she cried. I don’t know about other viewers but she touched the heart of my wife and me. It seemed genuine, was appropriate and was emotionally touching.

However, there is a trap here that you should consider.

I would rather have someone with a focused and intense personality who performs rather than a “likeable” person who performs poorly. I would rather have an authentic and honest person than one who wears a mask of likeability. Your brand is who you are all the time. If you are caught being a hypocrite, you will get caught eventually. Then, your trustworthiness will be questioned.

I recommend first, be authentically who you are. Second, check out your demeanor. If there are areas of improvement (which most of us have), then seek to understand the root causes of why we are the way we are. If you are unhappy on the inside, putting a mask on the outside will eventually come back to bite you. Deal with root causes. You might need some professional help.

At the same time, check out your smile, your ability to get along with people, and your likeability. It will impact your success.

I am merely suggesting that long-term success first includes authentic trustworthiness.

Secrets of Networking, Part 3

The third point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

3.  Ethics and Honesty – people feel if they can trust you, almost everything else fades in importance. Lack of integrity is simply trading promises you make to others in exchange for personal gain.

There is a huge difference between trust and character. It ultimately depends upon your belief system as to “what is ethical and what is honesty?”  This is part of my Jobpreneurshipä 201 curriculum. The concept of trust is so important that I wrote a book on it called Trusted Relationships – The Secret to Lasting Success. You can find this book in the website section of “Resources”.

What I want to suggest here is that, assuming both parties agree on definitions, then:

• Failing to match the values required for doing business will typically cause them to stop doing business with you
• Failing to match the values required for employees will typically cause employers to fire you
• Failing to match the values required by your spouse will typically cause your spouse to leave you
• Failing to match the values you communicated to your children will typically cause them to ignore you or imitate you when they grow up.

Do I need to say more?

You may get away with dishonesty, a lack of ethics, or being self-serving for a long time – if you are good at it. But eventually it will come back to haunt you. Fully recovering from lost trust never happens. At a minimum there will be scars and impacts on others that will not go away.

For most of us, we cannot afford to be associated with those of poor character. It ultimately impacts our brand and our relationships. It can also impact us personally. So, there is a simple remedy…goodbye.

Please take a look in the mirror. If this is an area that needs improving, your ultimate success will not come until you deal with what most of us describe as a character flaw.

Secrets of Networking, Part 2

The second point from a blog by Charlie Robertson from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson is:

2. Punctuality – being on time is a promise that we get to keep regularly. It is expected of most of us. When you are late the person may feel resentful about being stood up and that they are not important to you. Even if you show up 2 minutes later, going through that thought process at all is not good for a relationship.

First, I disagree that punctuality should be ranked this high. This list is being shared to help you but is not nearly complete or prioritized the way I would prioritize it. However, it is a valid point.

Just yesterday, when I am actually writing this blog, I had an appointment with someone referred to me. We were supposed to meet at 10 am at a location of his choosing. The morning of the meeting, he sent me a text message saying he would be there at 9:45. So, I left early and allowed time for heavy traffic. Fortunately, traffic was light. I arrived at 9:20, purchased some coffee, and worked while waiting.

9:45 came and went. 10:00 came and went. Shortly after 10, the other party called saying he was running a couple of minutes late. He quickly apologized (his prior meeting lasted longer than anticipated) and we had a good meeting.

Should he have made allowances? Sure, just as I did my leaving earlier. Was I a little miffed? Yes. If I thought it was important enough to be early, shouldn’t he have planned his day better? Shouldn’t he have planned for “traffic” time. Would that have taken some time away from him if “traffic” did not exist? Absolutely! But then he could have also brought along some work to do.

Am I ever going to forgive him? Let me put it this way. There have been meetings where I either totally forgot about them or put them down incorrectly on my calendar. Sometimes I am left waiting while no one shows up and sometimes they show up and call me saying, “Where are you?’ This rarely happens, but it does happen. Life goes on.

But the principle is sound.  Punctuality is honoring the other party and showing that you can be trusted to respect the other party’s time. If your reputation is that, “you are never on time” then the message is that you are all about you. So, why should I hire you? Why should I want to buy from you? Why should I even want to reset an appointment with you?

Learn the rules. Be punctual as a lifestyle. Apologize when the rare occasion happens that you are late – it will happen. Be sure your brand is someone who tries to intentionally arrive early. My person rule is 15 minutes early. What is your rule?

Secrets of Networking, Part 1

The first set of points is from a blog by Charlie Robertson, www.charliethecoach.co.uk, who is with BNI. Charlie is apparently quoting from the book “Deserve What You Get” by Jay Levinson. The gist of the blog is 10 ways that you can increase the Word of Mouth techniques to help others talk about you in a positive way. Another way of putting this would be to review the  non-verbal actions that impact your brand.

While this list is by no means complete, I think it is worth reviewing.

What does “Word of Mouth” have to do with networking? It has everything to do with your brand and the brand extension of what others see in you and think of you. So, here are a series of blogs on the list Charlie cites from the book, “Deserve What You Get.”

1. Keeping Promises – the number one reason relationships fail, at work, or at home, is that one side perceives a promise that isn’t kept. If you want the relationship to succeed, you have to find out what the expectations are and meet them or change the expectations. You must prioritize your promises and you must make your priorities known.

This goes back to the concept of trust. “Can I trust you to keep your promise?” Clearly the idea of meeting or exceeding expectations is worth a book by itself. Eventually, you will get caught if you lie, deceive, or misrepresent. The onus is on you to go the next step to see if the expectations that you promised are kept.

The first challenge is that the expectations that you thought you made may not match what the other party thought you communicated. The author is correct in saying that this intentional or unintentional gap is a major reason for not succeeding.

The author is also correct in suggesting that you must manage your commitments and correcting others who want to “assign” you with commitments that you did not make. This happens in consulting when the hiring company expands job scope, without wanting to pay for it, and expecting you to comply (at your cost). This happens when a boss gives you an impossible assignment, with the time and resources that you have available. This happens when a family is pulling you one way with their set of expectations (spelled “demands”) and work is pulling you the other way.

The key is to decide who you are, what your values are, and to prioritize what you can and cannot do. There are certain promises that are seen as so fundamental, usually tied to character, that failure can be catastrophic. Of the rest, it is best to either not make a promise or to be sure that you condition it with reality.

Why? You don’t want to develop the reputation (brand) of not being trustworthy.

Secrets of On-Line Branding, Part Six

Continuing with Merideth Levensen’s article, point number six is:

6. Over-promoting yourself: Keep it cool. There’s no need to go nuts with all this stuff.

How much time do you have? Who is really looking at what you are doing? Is each site really worth the time and effort?

Again, in today’s fast pace environment, we all want to help ourselves as much as possible but usually end up with memberships in too many sites, with too many passwords, and too much of a risk in confusing our brand.

We need to focus on what is most important and do that well.

This is why I disabled my social sites called Whacked Executive Network and Whacked Community Network. As my business expands, what I need to do changes. I just don’t have the time to continue with sites or things that are not current and relatively easy to do.

It is fine to experiment, to learn, and to continue improving your message but keep in mind that if you spread yourself too thin you may lose focus, lose a consistent message, and lose getting what you really want. If you are caught on personal sites while at work, you may lose your job.

Take a look at what you are doing on the internet. Do you need to go on a social networking diet?

Secrets of On-Line Branding, Part 5

Continuing with Merideth Levensen’s article, point number five is:

5. Not committing to social media: Whatever you set up, you must maintain.

I also agree.

Many of us are asked to join gazillions of social and business sites. I recommend that you refuse to do so. You will not have the time to maintain them. You will waste incredible amounts of time on them – with little to no personal benefit. You will often send out conflicting messages versus what you may have on other sites. And…you might even reveal something that could be embarrassing or damaging to your future or your career.

We probably all make this mistake. I recommend you take a look at where you are and re-examine whether you should be there. I recommend that you review what you are posting in light of yesterday’s blog.

5. Not committing to social media: Whatever you set up, you must maintain.

I also agree.

Many of us are asked to join gazillions of social and business sites. I recommend that you refuse to do so. You will not have the time to maintain them. You will waste incredible amounts of time on them – with little to no personal benefit. You will often send out conflicting messages versus what you may have on other sites. And…you might even reveal something that could be embarrassing or damaging to your future or your career.

We probably all make this mistake. I recommend you take a look at where you are and re-examine whether you should be there. I recommend that you review what you are posting in light of yesterday’s blog.

Secrets of On-Line Branding, Part 4

Continuing with Merideth Levensen’s article, point number four is:

4. Behaving inconsistently: Everything from your voice mail message to your blog to your tweets must have a consistent tone. You can’t be wild and crazy in one place and dead serious in another.

I agree.  Inconsistent behavior is not predictable. People hire and buy from those whom they can trust, know, and predict future behavior. If there are questions raised; well, there are plenty of others who are willing to be consistent. I can move on to the next person. Is that what you want?

Some may argue that what “I do in my personal life has nothing to do in my professional life.” Wrong. It has everything to do with character. If a question is raised in one area, the likelihood of it being a risk in another area is high – too high to risk.

In branding, authenticity and predictability are required. You don’t have to follow these rules. You just will frequently not be asked to join the team or be invited to rise to the top.

Secrets of On-Line Branding, Part 3

Continuing with Merideth Levensen’s article, point number three is:

3. Adopting a copycat or generic brand: Don’t copy other people’s buzzwords. Originality is key.

Based upon other statements Merideth makes, it would be easy to miss her point that “Originality is key.”  I agree.

However, I want to focus on another mistake that people make – that a brand is merely a buzzword. Branding is much, much, much, more than what is really a “tag line” or “Value Proposition.”  Since I cover Value Propositions in my books and in much more detail in my seminars, I won’t bore you with the details except to say that this is the number one communication tool in networking!

The simplest example is my describing myself as the “Chief Job Doctor.” It accomplishes my purpose of communicating what I do, my value, is memorable, and raises an unspoken question that allows the start of a communication process. Is it totally unique? No. There are a few “job doctors” on the internet but no one who does exactly what we do and has the background that we have.

What is your unique value proposition?

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